Cash Gifts vs. Registry Gifts
A common conversation that came up among my friends while planning our weddings was whether or not to create a full registry. Many millennials hope for cash gifts since we are getting married later than previous generations and we tend to already have many home and kitchen essentials at this stage in life. We'd prefer to receive cash wedding gifts to buy our future homes or to fund our honeymoons. But how do you nicely ask guests for cash? And is a wedding registry really outdated?
During my planning process, a wise friend told me that if you're a gift giver, you're a gift giver and if you're a cash giver, you're a cash giver. Wedding guests are going to gift what they want regardless of your preference, so you might as well have some options you like available on a registry. You can even register for cash options like a 'house fund' or 'honeymoon fund' on many of the registry sites if you so desire. Registries also come in handy if you plan to have an engagement party or bridal shower.
If you're a bride thinking that you want to discourage registry gifting in hopes of receiving more cash, you might want to consider adding a few items for those looking to give you a physical gift. At the end of the day about one-third of our wedding gifts came from the registry and two-thirds were cash gifts.
Create Your Registry Early & Add More Items Than You Think You'll Need
Be sure to create your registry fairly early on in the planning process. You'd be surprised at how quickly people look for your registry to send an engagement congratulations. I was shocked when my workplace found my registry on their own and gifted me a congratulatory item. It's also nice to have your registry in place if you plan to throw an engagement party early on in the wedding process.
The rule of thumb is to have about two gifts per person that you plan to invite to your wedding. So, if you plan to invite 150 people, you'll want to have about 300 items on your registry.
Take Inventory & Research
This might go without saying, but before you begin creating your registry, take a quick inventory of items you already own. From there, you should do some research on specific products you're interested in. My husband loved checking consumer reports for our more expensive items, and I liked to peruse websites and other people's registries for inspiration. It's easy to just click 'add to registry' but make sure you actually want and need the item you're asking for.
Use a Universal Hosting Site
There are so many great options for registry hosting sites. I suggest one that allows you to link all of your registries to one spot like Zola or The Knot. For example, I hosted my wedding registry on Zola and was able to link Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel to the same registry while also linking items from the large list of Zola products. This way, guests could see all items in one place. Keep reading below to see how you can also link more obscure items to your registry.
Pick a General Gift Theme
The hardest part in curating the registry is sticking to a theme. Long gone are the days of picking out expensive china patterns, but you still want to consider some neutral pieces that will stand the test of time. You also might want to consider a consistent color palette so that your items will look cohesive in a future home. We chose to pick many neutral plates, dishes and towels, but then we threw in some fun blue accent pieces to create variety. We figured that even if we get sick of blue in a few years, we won't have to trade out all of our dish-ware. We can just update a few of the accent pieces.
Offer a Variety of Price Ranges
It's important to cater to many different price points when creating your registry. Different guests have different budgets. Likewise, some people enjoy buying one large gift, while others enjoy piecing many smaller gifts together in a bundle. Your average shower gift will be $50-$100 per person and your average wedding gift is likely $150+. Be sure to have many options throughout those price points.
Checklists
You can easily look up a wedding registry checklist to make sure you've covered all of your bases. I worked off of this Crate and Barrel checklist when creating my registry because it was incredibly thorough. Some other great options are The Knot's Checklist, Wedding Wire Checklist, and Zola's Checklist. Working off a checklist made me feel like I thoroughly considered the items we would need in our future home. After I crossed off the essentials, I felt more comfortable adding a few of the more superfluous items onto the list for fun.
In Person Shopping vs. Online Shopping
If you're anything like me, you dreamt of the day you could run through the aisles of Crate and Barrel with your registry gun, shamelessly adding items to your registry. Sadly, registry guns have been replaced by cell phone apps, but the experience was still as exhilarating as I had hoped. It can be tempting to do all of your registry building online, but I suggest doing a little browsing in a physical store as well. Some stores even give you free gifts for registering with them if you visit in person! Doing an in person shop once or twice is great for looking closely at item sizing and patterns up close. Don't get me wrong, I do most of my shopping online these days, but it was definitely worthwhile to visit Williams Sonoma and Pottery Barn in person.
Obscure Websites
If you set yourself up with a universal hosting site, you can also link some more obscure items to your registry. Often times sites like Zola have a limited selection of brand name items available. For example, my husband is a big Yeti fan and wanted a specific cooler that Zola didn't offer, even though they offer some other Yeti products. He was thrilled that he could link directly to the Yeti website to get the model he wanted and have it show up on our registry list. We did this for our Ooni pizza oven, Mark and Graham personalized items and Sasha Nicholas monogrammed dish-ware as well. As long as the item has a URL, you can add it to your overall registry and it will steer guests in the direction to purchase the item for you.
On another note, don't count out adding items like Honeyfund or 'house fund' cash collections to your registry for a creative twist on gifting.
Shipping & Storage
Keep in mind that as you get closer to your bridal shower and wedding date, gifts will start to pile up. Many guests prefer to ship gifts directly to your home. We filled up our entire second bedroom in our apartment before moving all of our registry gifts into my parent's house. Be prepared with a gift housing space because they will start to flow in very regularly and they take up a ton of room.
Thank You Notes
Most importantly, be sure to keep detailed notes on who is sending you all of these wonderful registry gifts. You can send thank you notes in batches so that you're not overwhelmed or wait until after the wedding to send them all at once. General rule of thumb is to send your thank you notes as soon as possible, with the latest being three months after receiving the gift. Taking the time to hand write a thank you note is a lot more meaningful than a pre-written note. You can even order personalized thank you cards ahead of time so that you are all ready to go when you receive a gift.