10 Early Wedding Planning Tips for the
Recently Engaged Couple
Tip #1: Enjoy the Moment
First things first... try your best to enjoy the moment and soak up this exciting time. You're likely still floating on cloud nine. The engagement high is a wonderful feeling and watching that dazzling new shiny rock on your finger is all you should be doing for a few days (pro tip: elevator lighting makes them sparkle the brightest). As tempting as it might sound to dive straight into planning, take a few days or weeks to enjoy the sound of that new 'fiancee' title.
As a type-a planner, this was especially tough for me. We got engaged on December 6th, so I set a boundary that I wouldn't even Google a venue until the start of the new year. Everyone's timeline will be different, but be sure to soak in that 'just engaged' feeling for as long as you can!
Tip #2. Celebrate with Family and Friends
Whether your partner surprised you with a celebratory gathering after your proposal, or you're throwing an engagement party, make sure to take some time to celebrate this momentous occasion with friends and family. Show off that ring on your first day back at work, go for celebratory cocktails with your friends and make all of those fun Facetime calls with your newly engaged grin. This obviously goes hand in hand with tip #1 and carving out time to enjoy the moment. We all hope that this is a 'once in a lifetime' event, so soak up all of the positive vibes coming your way!
Tip #3: Take Care of that New Diamond!
Insure it - Shortly after your proposal you'll start to realize you have a pretty hefty investment on your finger. If your partner hasn't already, make sure you insure your ring right after the proposal. It will relieve a ton of stress and worry!
Wear it - Diamonds are pretty tough and durable, and your ring is meant to be worn! The only time I suggest taking real precautions is when working out or wearing your rings around drains (I still cringe around sinks and showers). I like to keep a few ring dishes around my house and take my rings off to shower, do the dishes and sleep. I made the mistake of wearing them to Orangetheory for a while and have some minor damage on my band from lifting weights. In this case, I still preferred risking the damage and having the ring on my finger opposed to leaving it in the car or gym bag after work (yikes). You can also put your ring on a necklace while you workout to avoid this as well. I swim with my rings on unless I feel I'm in a safe enough place that I can leave them inside. I became a pro at the one fist clenched breast stroke on our honeymoon!
Keep it sparkling - I was gifted this 'bling brush' shortly after getting engaged. I highly recommend investing in one to keep in your purse to keep your ring extra sparkly, especially in those first few weeks while everyone fawns over your new bling. I use a dip ring cleaner for deeper cleans at home and will occasionally bring my ring to a jeweler for a professional clean. Nothing makes it shine as nicely as a professional clean!
Tip #4: Make a 'Wedding Only' Email Address
This was one of the best pieces of advice someone gave me after I got engaged. Make a 'wedding only' email address (I just used gmail) so that when the time comes for you to start researching and contacting vendors, you can filter all of your wedding information through one email address. You and your partner can also share the account. There will be so many occasions throughout the planning process where you have to share your email, and keeping everything in one designated place is incredibly helpful.
Tip #5: Gather Wedding Inspiration
Remember when Pinterest was all the rage about ten years ago? Prepare for it to make a big comeback in your life now that you're engaged! I thought I was done with the platform until it was time to start getting inspired for wedding planning. I highly recommend digging out your old username and password and logging back in to your Pinterest. If you're anything like me, you might even find an old 'wedding ideas' board you made ten years ago. It really is the perfect place to create a digital mood board for the look and feel of your wedding. There are also many vendors linked to posts which can help you later on in the planning process. Start pinning some ideas that feel like you! Of course, you can create a physical mood board or arrange your information however you like, but Pinterest was definitely made for wedding planning!
Tip #6: Decide How to Organize Your Wedding Info
I'm usually a tried and true paper and pencil girl. My husband bought me a huge wedding planning notebook for Christmas where I started my initial plans. As I really dug into planning, however, there was so much to keep track of and so many things in constant flux, that I converted all of my info into Google Docs and Sheets. If you want to put some systems in place before you really dive in, start with a basic spreadsheet with tabs for 'budget,' 'venues,' 'photographer,' 'guest list,' and all of your vendors. This will help keep you organized when you dive into full wedding planning mode. I also created a vendor contact list that I would add to as I started signing contracts and booking vendors for easy access to their contact information and payment schedules.
Tip #7: Decide What Time of Year You Want to get Married
You may have already broached this subject leading up to your engagement but this is a good time to have some casual conversations about what you and your partner want out of your wedding. Do you want a large wedding, a small wedding, a traditional wedding, a unique wedding. Without diving too deep into details, have some surface level discussions about the 'vibe' you both want. From there, try to narrow down the season that best fits your vibe. When it comes down to finding venues and vendors down the road, having a good idea of the time of year you want to get married is crucial.
Tip #8: Draft a General Guest List
Tip #8 is where my wedding planning PTSD starts to kick in. The guest list can be a source of major drama in the planning process which is why it's important to have a general sense of what you're working with. You and your partner should draft an a, b, and c list and have both families do the same. This should give you a general sense of how big of a venue you'll need and where you need to draw some lines for cutoffs. Having these conversations early can be helpful for setting expectations and deciding who you both value being present on your special day. The guest list will be constantly tweaked throughout the process, but you will need a general number in order to book a venue and other important vendors.
Tip #9: Create a Budget
Budget - no one wants one, everyone has one. You need to go into planning with an idea of what you and your partner are comfortable spending on your big day. You can also gently find out if any other families will be chipping in to support your wedding and go from there. Again, having these conversations before you actually start planning and booking vendors will be a huge help in narrowing your focus. I'll dive a little deeper into budget in a future post!
Tip #10: Consider Securing a Date and Venue
After everything I just said, some of you are probably sitting there thinking - but I can't wait - I NEED TO START PLANNING NOW. If you're going to pick a place to start, dive into your venue search. It's hard to book any other vendor without a location and date in place. I suggest visiting a bunch of venues in person to get a feel for what you really like. I made a list of about 50 venues that fit my wedding size, location and budget and visited about 10-15 of them in person. I was looking for my venue during the height of Covid so it was hard to book physical visits, but that's really where you learn what you like and what you don't like. You can book multiple visits in one weekend and get a whole bunch of venues knocked out at once.
Pro tip: I liked using The Knot App for searching vendors. I didn't use The Knot for much else during the planning process, but I liked their vendor search feature on their mobile app the best.
